Short Story: What Next

ShortbreadAhmed-hamid Woody Bagala-alinaShort Stories › What Next

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Chandra Kidumba blinked behind closed eyelids. She was finally here…in the grave; in a place that everyone wonders about while they still walk earth.

The minute they had poured the concrete mix onto the iron sheet placed above her coffin, she lost all communication (as it were) to the other side; she neither heard nor felt anything above ground.

Then the grave started shrinking, growing smaller by the second. The walls of the coffin started squeaking as pressure from somewhere started pushing them in toward her. The left wall crashed onto her and a large splinter pierced her side. She flinched, without moving a muscle, and without feeling pain. Before she could fully comprehend what the hell was going on, the whole coffin splintered, showering her with a thousand pieces of wood of varying sizes.

The grave continued growing smaller, until the only space she had was her own body. By now, her terror knew no bounds and it was only exacerbated when…

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Alice Pilcher Editor said "Didn't think this was as good as its prequel but very clever idea nonetheless. Well done. "
2 years ago

Jay Leffew said "Too dispassionate for me. It was reported with very little hint of the terror which must have been present from the very beginning, and I would have appreciated some head-rolling, eye-popping, sweat-streaked emotion here."
2 years ago
Ahmed-hamid Woody Bagala-alina replied saying "Thanks,JL. Was afraid to make it too gruesome and I guess that killed it for you. Bless!"
2 years ago
Ahmed-hamid Woody Bagala-alina said "Thank you, AP, guess I ate my cake after the first! Bless!"
2 years ago
Adam West Guest Editor said "Two things came to mind when reading What's Next? Oddly, the song - On Ilkely Moor by Tat - and the line - then worms will come and eat thee up. I thought the ending was a masterstoke, lifting what would have otherwise been an excellent exercise in gruesome imagery into a different realm - one that I will not give away, but just say gave homage to Dickens. Dark story with a moral twist - nice one AW, many thanks, Adam"
2 years ago
Ahmed-hamid Woody Bagala-alina replied saying "Being black as they come, I`m blushing under the skin, AW! I think that`s the highest praise I have ever received yet! THANK YOU, Adam. Bless!"
2 years ago

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