Short Story: Waiting (taken From 'scars'

ShortbreadLouise AllardiceShort Stories › Waiting (taken From 'scars'

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About this Short Story


This was written for a project called IOWA. A maximum of 500 words (this version has been extended slightly) with the prompt 'Waiting for a train that may have already left.' This piece is really meant to be read aloud to get the full effect but can be read as it is. Escape is all that matters...


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The air is cold and moist, thick with fog. It sends a shiver down my spine as I stand there in the empty station.

A church bell rings in the distance. Midnight.

An owl hoots, I spin round on the spot.

“Fucking owl.” I mutter to myself, stuffing my hands further into the pockets of my thin black jacket.

Fuck, its cold.

I look down the platform, not another soul in sight. Nor any sign of my train.

The dim strip lighting in the station flickers every time the wind blows.

I wish I’d brought more clothes than this. I’m wearing all the clothes I own now. But I didn’t have time to pack. There hadn’t been time for anything. I’d barely managed to pick up my mobile on my way out. A quick text sent to the only person who would read a text from me and then switched off.

The church bell tolls again. Quarter past Midnight.

The door leading to the deserted car park squeals in…

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Jay Leffew said "You have an intriguing style of writing which is strangely compelling. This build up of atmosphere was really good, and whopping great question-marks keep appearing in my hair, making me scratch my head as I try to divine what's going on. It's an interesting exercise, but I wish you wouldn't write your swearing in full..."
2 years ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor said "Oh my goodness this really wants the reader wanting more. Very atmospheric and intriguing - well done - Diane"
2 years ago

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