Short Story: Uhm?

Short Story: Uhm?

Early in the morning on a cold rainy September day, the artists had begun arriving at the giant Knicks stadium where they were supposed to comment on the current involvement of Western countries in Arab States affairs. The conference was wholly sponsored by the Russians and the Chinese who were looking at the Capitalist countries as starting another scramble, but this time for the Islamic world. All day the artists were only smoking weed, some putting a little hash in it; while others were shooting cocaine or popping ecstasy. Many were mixing it all up. That is until almost seven in the evening.

In the heat of the moment After 7, Tina Turner wants to know; “What`s love got to do with it?” while Whitney Houston asks Bobby Brown, “How will I know?” after he said, “Don’t talk dirty to me.”

When rumors about a superstar sleeping with kids got milling, Michael Jackson asked Dirty Diana, “Who is it?” In the meanwhile R. Kelly was chilling with Summer bunnies while Shaggy and Will Smith were harping about Summer time. When they told Sade about it she said that was No ordinary love!

Then Dolly Parton turned to Kenny Rogers and told him, “Save the last dance for me” as Men At Work went `Down under`. All The Cars wanted was to `Drive` and the The Corrs turned to look at them with surprise as The Temptations hummed `Only You`. Barry White asked everyone present to shut up and `Practice what you preach`.

Prince picked up his guitar and started screaming about `When Doves Cry` as MJ wrinkled his nose and showed Stevie Wonder his middle finger, shouting: `They Don’t Care About Us`. Of course Stevie did not see anything. He called up Anita Baker and when she asked what he wanted in an abrasive tone he said, “I Just Called To Say I Love You`. Bobby Brown asked him not to be sly but added `Don’t Talk Dirty` to Diana King when she winked at him and said she did not want a `Shy Guy`. Princess Patra laughed and told them she wanted a `Workman`.

At this point Shaggy jumped up and said, “Hey Sexy Lady” but before Patra could respond Shabba Ranks said he was `Mr. Loverman`. Sean Paul nodded, saying that was `Dutty Love` and asked him: `Can You Do The Work?` but Shaggy came back with `Mr. Bombastic`. Peter Andre told them to be careful because she was a `Mysterious Girl` and George Michael agreed and told them there was no need for `Careless Whispers`. Madonna pulled out her left breast and said at least she was a `Material Girl`. Atlantic Starr said she was chasing a `Silver Shadow`.

That is the point at which Britney Spears showed her pussy and exclaimed, “Oops, I Did It Again!” Xhibit then got up and pulled a .404 which he pointed at her face and said, “Bitch Please! ` Cameo got up and screamed, `Word up! `

It was only Tupac who touched her arm and said, `Keep Your Head Up`. Dr. Dre told her to `Keep Their Heads Ringing`. Denise Williams wanted to `Hear It From The Boy` but out of the blue Alpha Blondy screamed `Apartheid Is Nazism!` Junior Reid raised his fist and shouted, `One Blood` and Bob Marley shook his massive locks and said quietly, `One Love`.

When George Bush walked in with Tony Blair a few meters behind him, Snow pointed at the latter and said in a loud whisper, “Informer!” Lil Kim and Missy Elliot turned to stare at Dwayne Johnson who was one of Bush`s bodyguards (the UN Security Council, whose chairmanship was now in the hands of North Korea, hand withdrawn his Secret Service agents). MJ noticed and asked, “Who Is It?”

Arrested Development, seated in a corner near the Backstreet Boys answered, “Mr. Wendal and Everyday People.” Inner Circle laughed and one of them said, “The Games People Play.”

Then for some reason Blair stood in the aisle blocking passage. Ludakris and 1-20 walked up to him and on top of their voices shouted: “Move Bitch!” TLC and Kut Klose came up and said, “Creep.”

Left Eye grabbed his lapel and told him not to go chasing `Waterfalls`. Biggie shook his heavy jowls and said, “Notorious.” Tupac asked Dr. Dre if he had his shotgun. When Dre nodded Tupac said, “Hit `em Up!”

Dr. Dre started firing as MJ screamed Just Gotta Be Startin Somethin! UB40 rose as one and said, "The Earth Dies Screaming!"