Short Story: The Whisperer (ctd.)

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About this Short Story

Written by
Fran Strahan


Something big is about to happen in the enchanting little village of Hadley Hill...


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Wendy was looking forward to seeing her first dragon. But

when he came to the cottage, long after darkness, he was

invisible. Jethro greeted him.

'Much news my friend. First, this is Wendy, a Whisperer

like myself.'

Wendy was surprised to hear herself butting in. 'I would like

to see you Rastaban.'

Slowly, in the dark, his form became visible.

He was probably over 10 metres long, a long neck, stout,

firm body, rather ridiculously short legs, she thought,

and a long tail tapering off with some rather fearsome weaponry -

4 long, sharp horns. His back was armoured with upright

triangular plates and was rather humped. Folded neatly

against that humped back were his wings. His head and snout

were long, his teeth were fearsome but Wendy noticed that his

eyes were kind. The overall colour appeared to be emerald green,

the plates on his back were tan and those fearsome tail horns

and his teeth, white.

'You are a very handsome dragon' she said.

'Thank you' replied Rastaban.…

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Andy Bottomley Guest Editor said "And so the saga must continue, Wendy and the dragons and the Universe! Fran, I really did enjoy this tale - it has a lot in it and you clearly have a fertile imagination which in my view is the first step towards good storytelling. The second is to get it down on paper - it doesn't matter what it is. the storyline, the characters, the words all need to make that short journey from inside the writer onto the page, from beginning to end. Just write it. Then you start playimg with it. Shrinking it here, stretching it there, putting a twist in that you hadn't thought of originally. As I said previously you can sense that this tale really did 'grow legs' which is excellent, and must have been fun to write. Then there is the 'technical' stuff, which I'm not very good at, but Jay is and she has been a real help to me in pointing out bits along the way - and she always means well. Finally, then I promise I'll clear off, can I suggest that you maybe take a look at Stephen King's 'On Writing' as it is an excellent, excellent book. Apart from being a rollocking good read he goes through, in the middle section, the 'process' of storywriting - and it makes sense, and I think you'll find it will because you appear to be doing already what he is suggesting - he just puts the polish on it! You don't have to read the whole book but if you do I think you'd find it well worth while. Anyway, that's about it from me, Andy the critic, and I look forward very much to your next piece coming out. Many thanks and well done....Andy"
1 year ago
Andy Bottomley Guest Editor replied saying "You're right there Fran, if this writing lark ain't fun then it ain't worth doing!!....Simples....A"
1 year ago
Fran Strahan replied saying "You're right. Getting it down on paper and getting it in front of someone - at my early stage - is more important then the technical stuff and the odd typo or two. The fact that people find them and point them out is great though because it pulls you up and makes you aware. I'm learning already. And this writing lark is fun which is the most important thing!"
1 year ago
Andy Bottomley Guest Editor replied saying "i believe it is possible to have two or three stories on the go at the same time - but being a bear of little brain and a bloke it is one step too close to multi-tasking for me. However you on the other hand...... With the regards the 'technical stuff' I really wouldn't worry about it - it will come with time and with people like Jay and Diane there to help and encourage that side of things will naturally develop. The important thing is to get your ideas out and onto paper or screen and in that department there is clearly much a rich vein to be discovered and shared.....Andy"
1 year ago
Fran Strahan replied saying "That word 'write' at the begining there should have read 'right.' Oh Jay... I'm doing it again. But I am noticing now! Its starting to work..."
1 year ago
Fran Strahan replied saying "Thats interesting. If I'm reading you write its possible to have maybe two or three stories on the go at any one time, all at various stages of their life. Thats something I must try. Just scratch something down and see if it 'grows legs'. Then abandon it for a while for another. Sounds like fun, rather then sweating over churning out one perfect piece. I shall certainly make a point of getting the book On Writing that you recomend. Somebody said I had a fertile imagination when I was a kid. Think I was possibly in trouble at the time though! Thank you for the kind comment though and for all your help and encouragement. Jay and I have already been in touch ( see the comments at Whisperer ) and I've asked her to let me have it both guns blazing!! I know puntuation etc., yes, the technical stuff, is not my strong point. After all, I came here to learn. Now I have another one on my writing desk that requires major surgery. You might have noticed I'm having a little trouble with my formatting! Big Thank You Andy and glad you enjoyed The Whisperer. Yes I did leave the end open for a sequel :-)"
1 year ago
Jay Leffew said "'...The two men introduced themselves formally...' formerly means before. Then you had the plural 'families', when you needed the possessive 'family's', along with my previous remarks I thought you needed an example of what's plural and what's possessive; the apostrophe replaces 'family, theirs'. . . . . Otherwise continued to thoroughly enjoy this little saga, and loved the ending, which is as all fantasies should be, 'happily ever after'. Thank you."
1 year ago
Fran Strahan replied saying "Terry Collet. I will look some of his stories up. Thanks Jay."
1 year ago
Jay Leffew replied saying "Terry Collett is the greatest proponent of this style. I feel deprived because his stories are always worth a read, but I can't cope with trying to keep my place when scrolling them, so I just don't click on them any more."
1 year ago
Fran Strahan replied saying "Well I shall use " when my people are speaking from now on, as that was the original intention. I would hate to even try to read a piece with no punctuation whatsoever, but I believe there are some floating around here at SB. Guess it must make you stop and think. Copied and pasted again Jay, thanks."
1 year ago
Jay Leffew replied saying "Not that it matters that much, but the original use was as you say, " for direct speech, and ' for asides, or quotes within speech, as well as titles and 'wry references'. I usually use italics and ' for thoughts. . . . . The fact is there are many ways of expressing speech etc, and some of them don't use either, just italics, and you still manage to read them as they are intended, so I'm not going to be pedantic about it, I just use them as they were originally meant to be used, because I'm like that... . . . . . I have to admit to not spotting one or two of my own mistakes before now, so I know where you're coming from."
1 year ago
Fran Strahan replied saying "Jay, there is a little appendix at the back of my dictionary entitled... Punctuation. So I'd better be looking in there! Correct me if I'm wrong but if your character is speaking, it goes in quotation marks,yes? I've a funny feeling I've been using ' not ". And I have worked out using 'formerly' when I meant 'formally'. Its bad speech. I'm writing it the way I would say it. Funny how though - obviously I rest stories, then read them thru two or three times before submitting - but its tough to spot your own mistakes."
1 year ago
Jay Leffew replied saying "Well, like I said... I just, well, you know what people can be like. You learn to keep your ideas to yourself, but it's good to 'come out', too late for any practical purposes but, well, thanks..."
1 year ago
Fran Strahan replied saying "Fantasies? Jay, are you telling me you cant see unicorns? They're all over the place! Now, me, I've never seen a white horse... As for the punctuation, spelling, grammar, typos - yes please bring it on in buckets because thats one reason why I joined Shortbread. To learn from people who know. In fact someone else here at SB has just recomended you as a source of help with the grammar etc to me! So please, yes - tell me more. The Little Dogs Laughed has just arrived if you want to check that one out. Same problem with the formatting though, so it must be me. I've got one on my writing desk now so I'll try to correct for the next submission. Oh and none of them are as l-o-n-g as Whisperer :-) Thank you Jay."
1 year ago
Jay Leffew replied saying "When I say 'Fantasies' I do so advisedly; I realise that it's more than possible these people are lurking under our very noses, and I have been known to 'imagine' I've seen them, but I'm old now, so it's evident I'm not one of them; I just wish I could be trusted to meet some of them before I die... sigh... . . . . . I have my mum to thank for the level my English grammar reached, and I've always loved reading/daydreaming; they were one and the same to me. I guess I just absorbed most of it naturally, but I've learned a lot since joining SB; not least how to be less caustic in my critiques. I don't rip a whole story apart now, like I used to, and always try to find something positive to say. . . . . There's the problem with giving too many pointers too; It isn't normally a good idea to load them on because they become too daunting, and you don't feel you can take any of them on board because it confuses you, so, one at a time, I usually say 'there are a few other niggles' and leave it there. If a writer wants to know more I'd oblige, so I'm happy to do that for you, as and when, and I'm flattered you've been pasting my 'lessons' already."
1 year ago
Fran Strahan replied saying "Jay, hello. First of all, I have made a little file on my desktop and copied and pasted your comments on punctuation because - as is pretty obvious - it is not one of my strong points, along with a tendancy to switch tenses and probably a myriad of other writing errors. I'm new to all this writing lark so I need to get aware of this stuff. Its more than just the words. Thoroughly appreciated, and please read everything that I submit in future ;-) and keep me on the right tracks! About the formatting - I dont know why it looks like that!! Pretty certain it looked 'normal' on my Writing Desk. The only other groan I had was I wish I'd put 1)The Whisperer and 2)The Whisperer. I'm sure some people will read the second part first and wonder what on earth?..... I'm glad you stuck with it - goes on a bit for a 'short story' - and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Very Best Wishes to you."
1 year ago

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