Short Story: Thunder in the Valley Part…

ShortbreadSteve OliverShort Stories › Thunder in the Valley Part One:The Song…

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About this Short Story

Written by
Steve Oliver

Narrated by
Helen McAlpine


To strive for adulthood is sometimes difficult, and not always under our own control.


  • 1661 Words
  • 12 Comments
  • 80% Community Rating
  • 7991 Views

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The eyes of the reptile were black and unfeeling, as it lounged upon the warm boulder, soaking up the sun's power. The rattlesnake moved its head to the light, and peered deeply into the sun - it was time to go.

The captive heat of the rocks had filled the snake with life, and now the rattlesnake slipped effortlessly between the cracks of the great boulders. The snake coiled its body of sinew into a dark crevice and waited. It was good at waiting. Only occasionally did it flick out its tongue to taste the air. The rattlesnake shook the bony pieces of its tail, and flexed the venomous jaws - it was ready.

Green-Thorn ran quickly along the buffalo trail, which meandered just south of the Wind River. The trail twisted as the hard ground pushed against his flying feet, and he ran with eagerness in his heart, as he raced across the dry plain. Already that morning he…

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Christopher James Rushton said "I love a good western. Thanks, Chris Rushton."
4 years ago
Steve Oliver said "Hi Patsy - Thanks for listening and commenting, and I hope you also enjoy the sequels. I think Helen Mc Alpine did such a wonderful narration on the series..."
6 years ago
Patsy R Liles said "Steve, shades of Zane Grey and Lamour, and Bret Harte. Forever classics. I had to listen you did such a great job. Made the past live again. Thanks, I look forward to the ones I have ahead. Patsy"
6 years ago
Susan Donim said "Great Audio - Really enjoyed this, great narration and a very enjoyable tale. Looking forward to listening to the sequels! "
8 years ago
Steve Oliver said "Sequels - Thanks for your kind comments. If you wish you can follow the story with 'Ricochet!', and 'The Faith'"
8 years ago
S. Taylor-Smith said "Excellent - Hi, I really enjoyed your ‘Song of Tomorrow’ Steve. Your descriptions were so vivid; I was seeing it all through my mind’s eye, like watching a movie. Congratulations. I look forward to reading your sequels to it. "
8 years ago
Steve Oliver said "Sequel - Thanks Kate I'll give it a shot!"
8 years ago
Kate Smart Guest Editor said "heat, gunsmoke and rattlesnakes - I love Westerns though have really only watched the films - this brought images of Death Valley (not that I've ever been!)very vividly to mind and I really enjoyed the bits of dialogue - they sounded exactly right, to me - and I hope you write a sequel, I'd love to read more!"
8 years ago
Steve Oliver said "“Yesterday” - Thanks for your comments Kris. As the young hunter’s ‘troubles were here to stay’, “Yesterday” felt right here. Alas the hunting song he was hoping for, the ‘Song of Tomorrow was not attained. I believe the original song, has the most cover versions of any song ever written. I agree this story requires a sequel, although another Beatles title might not suit."
8 years ago
Kris Wallace Guest Editor said "Tomorrow Never Knows - I liked the detail of the hunter and his prey, and I liked the idea of two hunters striking simultaneously. Like Karen’s comment, I felt this story was unfinished though. Probably due to Garrett’s introduction coming so late leaving him with little to do despite the shift of focus moving to him. I’m at a loss to which Beatles song inspired the tale though!"
8 years ago
Steve Oliver said "The Song Of Tomorrow - Thanks Karen. Yes, these characters are pushing me for more lines- watch this space!"
8 years ago
Karen Skinner said "Very exciting! - This felt like the first chapter of a novel. I felt shades of Louis Lamore, there. I'd like to read more and find out what happens to both the charaters"
8 years ago

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