Short Story: The Hole

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About this Short Story

Written by
Heidi-jo Swain


When a mysterious hole offers a view of the promised land not everything turns out to be what it seems...


  • 385 Words
  • 17 Comments
  • 100% Community Rating
  • 209 Views

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To begin with there was only a mark, a small insignificant smudge that my mother blamed me for. She scrubbed and rubbed at the freshly applied ‘mostly mocha’ emulsion and cursed under her breath. She lustily administered a plethora of cleaning fluid cocktails but nothing could shift it. Eventually she hung a mirror over it in disgust and forgot about it.

But I didn’t forget. Every few days, when she was either down the shops or playing bingo, I would take the mirror down and examine the mark. Very gradually, almost imperceptibly it grew, stretched and eventually gaped.

The resultant hole measured approximately fifty by fifty centimetres and offered an uninterrupted view into our neighbour’s front room. Initially I panicked, thought it was a structural fault and feared the wall would collapse. I shouted through the hole to warn them but no-one responded. I watched on in amazement as they went about their business in complete oblivion of the screaming boy from…

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Barbara Swain said "What a treat!! Well thought out, beautifully written and so very concise! We are all gulity of forming opinions about folk before we give them a chance to reveal themselves, their complexities and human frailalties, which we all have, well done for giving us a nudge in the direction of self examination and the fact that we are all human. A real thought provoking story. Your Mum is indeed a wise woman. xx"
4 weeks ago
Heidi-jo Swain replied saying "I'm glad you enjoyed this shorter piece which was part of my 'creative writing homework.' The brief was very simple: A hole appears in your sitting room wall...give it a go! x"
4 weeks ago
Alex Mason said "At first, I was a bit afraid the 'teacher' would be female and I would be forced to call the cliche police... Thankfully, it was not; and my fear quickly turned to admiration - this piece is highly effective. We have all been there, thinking that someone is evil/annoying/stern/cruel/etc without ever thinking that behind the face/mask, they are human beings with complexities. Wonderfully well written, and a pleasure to read."
3 months ago
Heidi-jo Swain replied saying "Thank you for such encouraging comments Alex, i'm glad you enjoyed the story. My mum always says that 'you shouldn't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Only then can you begin to understand their journey.' Wise woman my mum."
3 months ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor said "A neat little thing, unlike the hole with a valuable message tucked inside - thanks for this - Diane"
3 months ago
Heidi-jo Swain replied saying "Thank you Diane. Just a little flight of fantasy to keep the old brains cells ticking over! Glad you enjoyed it."
3 months ago
Bill Robertson said "Very nicely put together - a huge story packaged into less than 400 words but still doesn't sell itself short. Hat's off to Heidi-Jo!"
3 months ago
Heidi-jo Swain replied saying "Thanks Bill. A pure flight of fantasy exercise to limber up the brain cells and see where my imagination took me! Glad you enjoyed it."
3 months ago
Ahmed-hamid Woody Bagala-alina said "Good piece here but I wonder why it was tagged adult except to add to the suspense maybe? Bless!"
3 months ago
Heidi-jo Swain replied saying "I think it was the language. I don't usually include swearing in my writing. Glad you enjoyed it though, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment."
3 months ago
Adam West said "This comes out of left field and stays there. Bizarre fable that turns on a sixpence - amazing you made it all happen in less than 400 words - Bravo! and thanks, too, Adam"
3 months ago
Heidi-jo Swain replied saying "Thanks Adam. Bit of a rum 'un this. Nice sometimes to keep 'em short! Now, I wonder...what would you see if a hole appeared in your living room wall?"
3 months ago
Jay Leffew said "'Ah wud some pow'r the gifted gi' us...' you have a talent for seeing deep into others' souls, and it's a lesson to us all. Thank you."
3 months ago
Heidi-jo Swain replied saying "Thank you Jay! I just keep on tryin'!"
3 months ago
Andy Bottomley Guest Editor said "Where on earth do you get your ideas from? A small domestic scene which grows into a perceptive observation. As with the appearance of the hare in Dead Man's Tree there is an opportunity to take an Alice in Wonderland step into fantasy but instead you cleverly stay squarely in 'reality' drawing out the deeper meaning of the story. Only one problem.....I've run out of your stories to read!!.....Andy"
3 months ago
Andy Bottomley Guest Editor replied saying "My pleasure....I look forward to reading more. Bye for now...Andy"
3 months ago
Heidi-jo Swain replied saying "Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment so thoughtfully Andy - it is very much appreciated. I am glad you enjoyed Dead Man's Tree. The hare was a bit of a risk but hey why not? The Hole is an extension of an exercise I started during a recent creative writing session. Sometimes I just let imagination take over and leave logic behind! I have two more pieces almost ready for submission. I like to get them written and leave them for a couple of weeks before re-reading just to make sure they are the best I can make them. Thank you again."
3 months ago

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