Short Story: The Cure

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About this Short Story

Written by
Ronald Carroll

Gru has a sickness. But Penn is constructing The Cure that will save his mother and bring order back to the family.

  • 1905 Words
  • 98% Community Rating

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Gru was of the sort to never forget birthdays or what we liked to eat or whose underwear was whose. But she slipped off the treadmill one day. Now Gru’s all fucked up in the head, says Stewart.

I’m going to save her regardless what the doctor says. I’d be a better doctor than these shitbirds and I can’t even stay up late!

I have this plan and I have no doubt it will work. I’ve written it down and labeled it The Cure in my journal.

Gru, bless her, dribbles about the house now. And her cooking has gone to crap. Fried is black, grilled is black, and baked is black or sometimes pink. Black black black. Yuck!

Gru stands in front of the oven, finger hovering in the air, biting her tongue, ready to poke the oven in the eye again tonight.

“Mother! You’re trying to cook a thing for ten hours? Dammit! Move,…

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Kerry Murphy said "Fucking fantastic is all I have to say."
4 years ago
Peter Heppo said "Nice Writing Ronald"
5 years ago
Jax Burgoyne said "Great story - you can feel the pain as if it's physically scratching you. And I love it being told through the youngest child's point of view - you do that well."
5 years ago
Jax Burgoyne replied saying "Thanks! Any help is always appreciated."
5 years ago
Ronald Carroll replied saying "Appreciate the compliments Jax, it was fun writing from a young boy's pov... Look for my comments on one of your stories... All the best-RC"
5 years ago
Desmond Kelly said "This was great, like being in Beavis & Butthead land again. You're a talented writer. Pitch more at this site & hope an enterprising publisher is looking in. You deserve your stuff to be out there. Good luck. Des"
5 years ago
Ronald Carroll replied saying "Des, thank you sir for the thoughtful words; hope to one day find a home for some of my stories... I'll be looking to pitch some more at SBS soon!... See my comments on one of your stories as well... All the best-RC"
5 years ago
Michael Capel said "All the fanciful comments I keep trying to write are not doing this justice. This is just some dope****, straight up. You're a sick writer. Don't ever get a real job. Seriously. You already have a job. It is this. Keep doing it."
5 years ago
Ronald Carroll replied saying "Michael, thanks for the words of encouragement my friend; hopefully one day I can write for more than a hobby... See my comments on your story as well... All the best-RC"
5 years ago
Adam West Guest Editor said "I note Diane comments that this could be part of something bigger and in many ways it already felt like that. I am not familiar with the style which only goes to show I am not as widely read as I wish I was. Some bizarrely (intentionally so?) placed full stops hampered the flow a little at times but that aside this was brave - at times funny in a sad sort of way - at times a little frustrating (that might be more my mindset than your writing, Ronald) to read - many thanks for something, to paraphrase a circus that was not a circus, completely different, Adam"
5 years ago
Adam West Guest Editor replied saying "Hi Ronald - scratch what I said about bizarrely placed full stops - I have printed off a hard copy and read The Cure at a more leisurely pace (and enjoyed considerably more on this second read.) Some of the nuisances of the characters and how they all related to one another were lost when I first read it - perhaps I read too quickly - perhaps for other reasons my concentration wasn't all it should have been. There was a full stop after Doctor in para 11 which I assume got left by mistake as maybe originally you had written Dr.? Other than that there were just two instances of a debatable placing of a full stop which on reflection were not bizarre! they were: Luckily all the old fogies from church brought casseroles to the front door for those first few months and Aunt June got a boy toy or something and ran off. With the boy toy having fun somewhere.~~~ comma possibly~~~~ and~~~~~Now on nights like tonight Stewart runs the show. Because we take Mother in public on her good days when she doesn’t smell or act as crazy.~~~~again, possibly a comma but I can see now it works with a full stop. I am not a grammar guru - I leave that to Jay! Two passages that were typical of the quality of the most original writing throughout are~~~~Gru, bless her, dribbles about the house now. And her cooking has gone to crap. Fried is black, grilled is black, and baked is black or sometimes pink. Black black black. Yuck!~~~~and~~~~ I was too young to remember much before the accident but Stewart told me. Mother was a good mother and didn’t act weird and we were happy. Father was still home before he got recruited. I’d dream about him doing flips as a clown and landing in pools of grape juice that were on fire. He looked like Stewart in my dreams even though in his pictures he looked more like me, everybody said.~~~In some peculiar way The Cure put me in mind of the some of the fairly loose knit 'families' of drug users/gangs in a number of George P Pelecanos crime novels - dysfunctional (loathe that word) chaotic and yet somehow, existing despite all - thanks again and look forward to more - Adam"
5 years ago
Adam West Guest Editor replied saying "Hi Ronald - yes - I will get back to you on the what I thought (no one else has commented so of course it could just be me?) were errant full stops. One story (thankfully it is quite short - around 900 words if memory serves me) of mine I would be interested to hear your opinion on is Walking Not Swimming. One comment I received suggested it was somewhat Mark Twain-esque - which was kind. It is not much of a story and I can barely recall it much now as I rarely read stuff my old stuff, but I think I recall some satisfaction when it was complete. I look forward to more of yours and wonder if The Cure is typical of your style or if you 'do' other stuff as well? ATB - Adam"
5 years ago
Ronald Carroll replied saying "I'd love to know the stops you are referring to for future endeavors; if you have any questions on stories of yours just point me toward a story and I'll be happy to give you my feedback as well... Thanks, Ronald"
5 years ago
Richard Ardus said "Hey Ronald! 'Thought I'd read your story - by the way, welcome to Shortbread!! - as you'd read one of mine and been kind enough to comment. I dunno if it's because I see you're from Jackson MS or because I'm reading Carson McCullors at the moment but I felt transported to The South as I read your piece. I like the style but feel that I'm not getting enough of an understanding of the situation you're writing about. It has got me wondering and I'll read it again tomorrow."
5 years ago
Ronald Carroll replied saying "Yes, reading over the story as submitted to SBS, I felt that clarity was lacking... never a good thing... But I had to be somewhat vague because of the reveal at the end, which I had hoped to change the story entirely... Who is truly sick and who needs to be cured?... That was the aim at least... Thanks for the read Richard!-Ronald"
5 years ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor said "This put me in mind of something that could have been penned by Anne Tyler - It was sad and brave and making a sort of sense that made me want to understand it better if you know what I mean. It could easily be extended into something longer and there is lots of room in there for further exploration of the characters. A good read - even though it wasn't a happy one - thanks - Diane"
5 years ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "I write such a weird collection of genres that I hesitate to recommend stuff really. Let me see - Greek Oranges got some good reviews. Passing Storm was popular, The Teacher is very english as is The River, I'll be There in a Minute is one of my favourites, Memories are made of This is dark and dreadful I guess. Through My Eyes I See it was a Friday Feature. I would just love to hear your thoughts on anything really and thanks for asking. - Diane"
5 years ago
Ronald Carroll replied saying "Thanks for the comments Diane! Any suggestions on something of yours I might enjoy?"
5 years ago

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