Short Story: Thunder in the Valley Part…

ShortbreadSteve OliverShort Stories › Thunder in the Valley Part Two: Ricochet!

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About this Short Story

Written by
Steve Oliver

Narrated by
Helen McAlpine


Where the rule of law runs thin, or civilisation is far away, the base instincts easily rise to the surface and the fight for life can become desperate. This is intended as a sequel to ‘The Song Of Tomorrow’.


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Tomorrow had not yet arrived, and yesterday waited patiently for the slow hours to melt into the black night of the plain. The moon clawed at the vast columns of cloud that filled the unseen sky; yet the lunar mantle could not break through the dense barrier of cloud cover. The columns of cloud could no longer hold their cargo, and suddenly heavy beads of rain burst through, and thunder began to shout across the valley.

As Maria listened to the rhythm of the night hours, rain started to drum upon the planked roof of the cabin. The young woman rested uneasily, as the sound of rain and thunder drummed into her worried mind. She wondered at Green-Thorn's powers of staying alive. Despite her close attentions to his wound, a fever had taken hold of the boy. The snakebite toxins rasped his body, and the nightmares he fought, were his alone. The battle for life and death played out into…

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Suphatsara Thammachart said "I like it."
2 years ago
This comment has been removed; this user is no longer a member of Shortbread.
Steve Oliver replied saying "Hi Jay, Thankyou for reading and commenting on this story, and pleased that you enjoyed it. To help place the character 'Green-Thorn' in a fuller context, may I suggest you listen to the prequel and sequels to this story which have been narrated by the brilliant talents of Helen Mc Alpine and formed into a Serial? Hope this answers your question.."
6 years ago
Andrea Lawrence said "I agree with Gavin's comment; the story is a veritable bouquet bursting with western cliches from cowboy country--but great fun to read, very enjoyable."
6 years ago
Steve Oliver replied saying "Hi Andrea, Thank you for reading and commenting on this story, and pleased that you enjoyed it. As noted with the previous comments this genre has a tendency to pull in the reader into its own world and language, where much is implied... best regards"
6 years ago
Gavin Dobson Guest Editor said "Reins, not reigns? Too many adjectives. Verges on the cliche: Gunman looming in the doorway, escaping the hangman's noose etc. But a fun story..."
6 years ago
Steve Oliver replied saying "Hi Gavin Thanks for reading and commenting on 'Ricochet!'. Apologies for the spelling error. Yes, I guess adjectives are a personal taste. Don't recall the phrase 'Gunman looming in the doorway', but it was a while ago. Hope you enjoy the remainder of 'Thunder...' best regards Steve"
6 years ago
Steve Oliver said "Prequel - Kate you are right, there are unanswered questions about Garrett’s past, and I appreciate your comments, which are always helpful, and most welcome. I think the mystery of this character draws us in to his world, and I too am keen to learn his secrets! I am working on a ‘follow up’, to flesh out the nuggets of truth, and appreciate your ideas. If ever nominated for audio, you would be my first choice as narrator! Best Regards -"
8 years ago
Kate Smart Guest Editor said "hangman's noose - Just a further thought, Steve - what I would be keen to know is - how and why did Garrett slip the hangman's noose? and, what had he done, to end up in the noose in the first place - was he in a gang, framed or what? prequel maybe?! but, will look forward to reading more about these characters, whatever you come up with, thanks, happy writing."
8 years ago
Steve Oliver said "Ricochet! - Thanks Kate. What a boon you are - your enthusiasm is infectious! I am pleased you enjoyed the story. These characters seem to be taking me over - not sure posters are allowed on Shortbread though! As always you have encouraged me further…"
8 years ago
Kate Smart Guest Editor said "a triumph! - Fabulous story Steve - I enjoyed it immensely and it exceeded my high expectations. Garrett Hobourne is my hero - I want a poster!! Seriously, I think this is great - the dialogue reads really well, the settings and characters come vividly to life, and the story is so gripping and crammed with action at every point. The shoot out was really exciting. I love "ready to deal the cards of death" and there are so many other great lines and images. You MUST write another one!"
8 years ago

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