Short Story: Praetorians In The Park

Short Story: Praetorians In The Park

A Tuesday in August in a London Park

Carp man is here. One of my regulars. Comes here several times a day to feed the fish. That young man of his has just arrived. Listen…

"Got your message.”

"Your time has come,”says carp man.

** *

My wood has been smoothed by sliding satin and rough tweed. Sometimes my wood screams silently when a sharp blade cuts deep beyond the varnish. I wish they wouldn’t do that. Dogs piss on my pseudo Victorian wrought iron, birds crap on me, and around me the place is alive with frenzied wasps gorging on MacDonald’s sweet sauces.

Carpie’s friend is a boyish young man, thick curly blond, crisp blue shirted with the sleeves folded with meticulous casualness midway between wrist and elbow, and tight leather spankme trousers.

See how Carp man puts his hand behind the leathered knee and briefly, lightly, strokes Blondie’s thigh.

“You’ve been paid regularly all this time in the expectation - in the hope - that you wouldn’t be needed, but in case you were.”

***

Mabel was here yesterday. She comes every Monday with her friend from Woolworths. She's

had another letter from her cousin Clare in Canada and her poor friend has to listen to them all. “...long weekend in Frisco...Leigh insisted on riding the tram cars...hanging on for dear life...great Italian restaurants...”

** *

Carp man:

"It’s that unfortunate girl, I’m afraid. She’s making Charlie’s life very difficult. She has got to go. And now it is urgent. Very urgent. She has left us with no other choice. Let‘s walk.”

** *

I have absorbed into my woodwork lover's

tiffs; sweet nothings; episode after episode of continuing domestic disagreements and....

Ah! Some new people. They haven’t been here before.

"A new school? In Shr-”

"Shropshire. And don’t look like that, Jeremy! We’ll stay with Granny. You’ll like that. Wont you?”

“Suppose so. Why? What about Jessica?”

“Well she’s coming too. We’re all going - well, not Daddy. You see, Jeremy- well- do you remember when we surprised Daddy and met him at the station? He was with Auntie Flo? It was your birthday? She came to your party? Well, she isn’t really your Aunt-”

“-Daddy said she was-”

“- Yes, darling, but - there are things about Daddy I need to tell you - perhaps we can talk about it later - when-”

“-Auntie Flo is Daddy’s boyfriend!-”

“-Jessica!-”

“I’M NOT GOING! DON’T WANT TO!”

“Jessica! Why did you have to say that? A horrid thing to say. You’ve upset Jeremy. He wont understand - he thinks you’re just being nasty-”

“-It is nasty. And horrible! What about my friends!?”

“It’s complicated, Jessica, darling - and I know, I’m sorry - but blurting it out like that - you’ve made it - you’ve made it all so much more difficult...”

***

It’s quiet again. Might be one of those days today. Do you know, sometimes no one comes here for hours on end? Sometimes for whole days. Then they are everywhere - they flock and disappear, flock and disappear, like migrating birds.

This couple sitting on me now come here once or twice a week and sit here two or three feet apart in the quietness. There is a contentedness in their silent togetherness - as if sure, and settled, as if there were no need to say how important each is to the other. After twenty minutes or so he will say:

"Shall we go then...If we go out the other corner we can catch the 266 at Marble Arch...”

He always says that!

***

2pm

Carp man:

"... She’s flying out to the Mediterranean in a couple of days - going to spend a week or so with that - that - dark gentleman friend -”

"-Two days? But that’s impossible. Perhaps when she comes back -”

"-it would be so much - tidier, shall we say - if she DID NOT come back.”

He is feeding those fish again. Has a thing about those fish.

"Before she goes to the Med I could find - a‘book depository’ or something-”

“- Good god! No, no, no. That wont do. Not our way. The Americans expect their people to be shot. No, it wont do -creates mistrust, shooting people - but you misunderstand. Not here. Do it over there”

***

...and dreams and schemes that fizzle and fade; or never start at all.

230pm

This is a butcher from Clapham, and his married girlfriend.

"She’s away next week. Orf to Margate, she is! This is what we’ve been waiting for princess. It’s sorted. I’ve paid a couple of hundred deposit on a room. I’ll load my stuff into the van and come round first thing on Monday. What time does he go to work?”

"Dunno. When‘e gets‘is arse aht of bed.”

"I’ll park near the shops. Givvus a bell - we’ll get your stuff and some furniture in the van and we’ll be away!”

***

4pm

"...but they wouldn’t, would they? Have a baby? -”

“- My dear boy, we cant possibly wait to find out. There is good reason to believe she might do it deliberately just to foul everything up. What about the family photos at Christmas for heaven’s sake ? It wont do at all. It is unthinkable! It is not going to happen. It cannot, must not. We - I -don’t care what you have to do. Just make sure the silly girl doesn’t come back.”

***

Just another day in the life of a park bench.

Last night a false leg was dumped on me. In a Harrods's bag would you believe! Change from handbags I suppose. And umbrellas. And condoms. Some one left a mobile phone last week. It glowed and warbled all through the dark night.

***

21stAugust 1pm Thursday

Carpie is feeding fish. Today he is with a Whitehall warrior, who lowers his vast pinstriped haunches on to me and my whole frame creaks.

"News? Your young friend?”

"He cant get near them on the boat.”

“They’ll be in Paris on the 30th. Saturday week. They’ll probably stay at the shopkeeper’s place”

“This is going to be a last minute rush job! Bound to be a bloody mess.”

"Libyan connection?”

“Gadafi is one of the good guys, now.”

“Irish?”

“Downing St have been talking to them for months. Put the peace process back thirty years.”

“Inconvenient.”

“Well I don’t care if everything else is fouled up. One way or another, whatever it means, she’s out.”

***

Emily is here.

I’ve been expecting her. I used to hear - over the years, such a saga. Today is the anniversary of that day so long ago when Con brought her here the first day they met. Cornelius was his name but he was shy about it. They came here often. Less and less often as they grew old, and especially when they moved away. But they always came on this day. Every year. Married after the war. Little shop in Shepherds Bush. Every summer evening they’d be here in those days, on their beloved bench. Always on Sundays, winter and summer. They sold the little shop. Mesopotamian mini supermarket now. When they retired and moved to Acton they still came every day. Then once a week. Then less often. Now she comes alone.

***

22ndAug Friday

"News? How is your sweet young friend?”

“A contact in the hotel and a paparazzi pass needed.”

"Rightyho.”

"And send him the Box. To put on the wheel - time is running out - we might get lucky this time. Got to try something. Anything.”

“Rightyho, old man. ‘Action this day‘.”

***

A couple at their usual afternoon tryst. Well, she’s late - as per. Here she is - breathless:

"Sorry, darling, bloody District Line! -”

"- Have you told Paul?”

"Yes. Bit brutal - almost felt sorry for him for a second! Glad it’s done - how’s Jane? How did she take it?”

“Pitiful.”

“Tough. You did tell her?"

"She already knew -”

“- about us? About us going to America? You did tell her that?-”

“- I tried -”

“-God!”

“- I cant - not yet -”

“- you’re bloody useless. You promised.”

“Sorry”

“You are more trapped than ever, now. Don't you see?”

"Sorry. I just couldn’t. Not just yet. Maybe -”

“- There is no maybe. If you don't leave now it wont happen. You’re so weak, Michael! Everything is arranged as we planned; hotel for the weekend, then America…Well, I’m still going! I’ve melted his cds. Said horrible things. I’m going. Fed up with dark corners and meeting in stupid places. Celebrating Christmas and birthdays in cheap hotels. Meeting like spies! Here’s your ticket. Flight is at 3pm.”

“What about the hotel?”

“No. You have to choose. This is goodbye - unless I see you at Heathrow on Monday.”

They used to meet here almost every day. Made such brave plans. Don't

suppose I’ll see them again.

***

31stAugust Sunday

Sundays are my busiest. The whole world seems to come to visit me on Sundays. So many children spilling hot tea and fruit juice. They seem to come in relays to have lunch or tea on my polished wood.

But not today. There is a quietness - they seem subdued as they walk by.

"...Is she dead, Mummy?...”

Creaking swings. Squealing children.

"...Such a shame..”

“Higher! Higher!”

"... I cant believe it ....”

“Again! Please! Just once more!”

"...I thought I’d misheard ... half asleep when the news was on ....”

***

1stSept Monday 2pm

Carpie and Pinstripe are having lunch.

Pinstripe: "Wrong car."

"We got lucky!”Carpie roars with laughter.

"There’ll be the usual rumours, of course.”

“Good.”

"It might be an idea to stoke up the conspiracy theories.”

"Get them all out and ridiculed.”

"Quite. In a few years everything will be hunky dory .”

“Charlie will get married -”

"-The Firm will be popular -”

“-and things back to normal.”

"Pity about your sweet young friend. It’s in that rag Jenkins is always reading. ‘...High heels ... stockings ... plastic bag over his head...’ What a very odd thing to do.”