Short Story: Passing Storm

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About this Short Story

Written by
Diane Dickson


Nellie and Harold have been together forever, their relationship is fiery but when it really counts their combined strength can beat anything.


  • 493 Words
  • 36 Comments
  • 95% Community Rating
  • 1376 Views

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Formula 500: April showers

Top Ten!
6th Place!

This piece has not been edited by the ShortbreadStories team.

With the spat of raindrops on tarpaper Nellie’s first reaction was irritation. Now he’d nag, say she never listened, say she shouldn’t be so cranky, then the horrible words, “I told you so Nellie.”

The wind whipped the trees and whistled through holes in the walls. Lightening speared the gap under the door, followed instantly by the crack of dark noise. She’d hold on, wait until it passed. It was a spring storm, a sudden fury.

Drips plopped onto the floor, already water trickled down the walls. She was recovering from bronchitis and shouldn’t risk a chill. That’s why Harold had been snippy. He meant well, “Don’t go Nellie, make do here, don’t be a fusser.”

Never, in all her long life had she done that. She had pride and wasn’t going to compromise now.

“The sun’s shining now but the clouds are building. The wind’s coming. Don’t go out. Listen to me woman.” The…

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Peter Parkin said "Another Diane classic. I was thrashing my mind as to the outcome throughout.............the lavvie, Brilliant! Peter"
9 months ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Thanks so much Peter I'm glad I surprised you!!! - Diane"
9 months ago
Helen Somers said "Great stuff Diane. I must admit, after reading the other comments before your story (something I should not have done but I was on the phone and didn't want to start your story until the call ended) I was anticipating the last line. And I was not at all disappointed. You are one great writer x"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Helen, thank you so very much for your kind comment. I am so pleased that you enjoyed this piece. I think that this competition has caught the imagination of many of our lovely writers on here and I look forward to seeing all the stories lined up on the blocks. I think it's going to be hard to vote. Thank you so much for sparing the time to comment - Diane"
1 year ago
Thomas Halve said "Haha, I was just about to write a comment emphasising 'great writing, style, structure and flow' and then that last line popped up! So, great writing Diane, I loved the style, structure and flow - and great way to end it with a smile and a laugh. Perfect!"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "I am so glad that the end is working the way that I hoped it would. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and I'm glad this little piece left you with a smile - Cheers - Diane"
1 year ago
Lesa Clarke said "Diane, I should have read enough of your work by now to be ready for a surprise but you got me again. Lovely snapshot of a long marriage and a last line to keep the reader smiling."
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Hi there :-) Thank you so very much for that kind comment I really do appreciate and glad that my little story made you smile"
1 year ago
Richard Ardus said "Great, killer last line which signifies that the story doesn't take itself too seriously. Marvellous Diane! I'm abandoning my barely started April Showers piece!!"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Richard - you are very kind, thank you. I am glad that you enjoyed this but do sincerely hope you are not truly leaving us without a piece from you for the April Showers thing. Cheers - Diane"
1 year ago
Patsy R Liles said "Just great, Diane. At first the tar paper threw me, never saw one papered over here, so I was led to seeing someone living in a tarpaper shack as we have seen here at one time. So emotional, I endured with her, cold and windblown, suspecting something else. The love between them was so comforting. And then to end with a hearty laugh. You worked real magic with this one. Patsy Liles"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Thanks so much Patsy. Do you know it's funny but when I read this to my hubby (don't often inflict my writing on him but wanted his thoughts on this one) it ended up with a great debate about tar paper, him saying it didn't exist - sheesh and him a DIY fanatic and in the end I had to look it up on Wiki to prove I was correct. Funny thing is it came to me out of the blue as these things often do. It amazes me the things that are hidden away in the deep corners of minds isn't it. I am so glad that you enjoyed this piece and thanks as always for commenting."
1 year ago
Mark Patrick said "I wasn't sure where this was heading, Diane, which made the ending so much sweeter. I have to send this one to my mom. She will appreciate it even more."
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Thanks so much Mark - I hope it gives your Mum a giggle."
1 year ago
Desmond Kelly said "Delightful evocation of past times. I saw and felt this story. The language was rich and reminiscent of Hardy or Lawrence. Diane, if you wrote a novel it would be a real compliment to your talents. Des"
1 year ago
Desmond Kelly replied saying "Thanks Diane, you've given me a lot to mull over. I'll run through this over the weekend to see where I go from here. It could be interesting. Des"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Hi Desmond - In a tiny little nutshell, you have to be very disciplined with your word file. If you have hard returns and so on in odd places it really messes with the formatting and also with your mind, running screaming from the room tearing out handfuls of hair and all that. You must make sure that there is nice neat page break at the end of each chapter for example. A cover is desirable of course and it needs to look good both as a thumbnail on the Amazon site and in black and white on a Kindle although you can leave it off the actual Kindle edition, but I always feel short-changed if I don't see a nice cover. Some publishing houses use a generic one so if you had several stories that you were going to put up individually that could work but if you were putting up a collection it's quite easy to make a cover using perhaps a photograph and some nice text. Then that has to be a jpeg. Then when you are happy with the manuscript you have to save it as webpage filtered. You have to join Kindle Direct Publishing and I would strongly suggest you download the simplified formatting guide because it tells you how to do an interactive table of contents and so on and also has lots of information for front matter and back matter. When you have your book built you upload it, check it on the Kindle viewer and wait for them to put it on the site. They say 24 to 48 hours but I have found that they are quicker to be honest. Then if you have enrolled in KDP select you can use the marketing tools, e.g. free days and so on. If you enjoy fiddling with computers as I do it is huge fun. Good luck."
1 year ago
Desmond Kelly replied saying "Cheers Diane. Do tell, how do you put stuff onto the Kindle site. I've got a variety of longer stories that might be suitable. Des"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Well Desmond - When you do find fame and fortune in Hollywood I hope you'll give me your autograph!!. I have just published a longer short story on Kindle and to be honest I just love the whole e-publishing experience. I am thrilled when I actually sell a book of course but there is just as much delight if someone downloads one during a free offer - actually more because there are more downloads. I truly wasn't trying to push my work onto you, I promise you. I really value your feedback on this site and hope that you will continue to give me your thoughts on my work - Cheers - Diane"
1 year ago
Desmond Kelly replied saying "Hi Diane. No Kindle, I'm a bit of a Luddite with new technology. Plus, although I comment on this site I'm always a little wary of making the commitment to read longer pieces. It's probably a character defect but I belong to a writing group and once got into an awful wrangle with someone over their novel. Once bitten and all that. I self published (vanity) a novel back in 2004 which went nowhere and languishes on Amazon. It's called Not the Way. I have a pile of them in my loft. I write as often as I can and there's a stack of work waiting to go on this site. I've written 9 novels and probably none will ever be picked up. I will probably continue in the method I've adopted, not that I live without the hope of being picked up by some Hollywood Producer. Fat chance. Des."
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Desmon - you are very generous in your comments and it always gives me a boost to read your opinions on my work. I don't know if you have a Kindle but I do have a couple of things on there. One of them "Who Follows" is a dark and chilling thing that may appeal. I haven't actually published it in hard copy as it is rather short. If you ever do bother to have a look at it I would love to have your thoughts."
1 year ago
Jay Leffew said "I laughed because I guessed right. Having lived this myself as a young child I was recognising the situation from the start. Great writing as ever, thank you!"
1 year ago
Jay Leffew replied saying "I used to have a recurring nightmare where I was in one, and the door wouldn't stay closed so I was exposed full view to anyone passing by... it never happened, but that's what my granny's did to me!"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "You clever thing. I have to say that as I wrote I was visualising a very specific place that belonged to my grandparents and caused me some problems in my childhood. There was also an incident in my infant school which I am sure has scarred me for life!!! :-))"
1 year ago
Daniel Mays said "Thank you for this wonderful story. I laughed and loved it. I could see the characters and location. Again, Thanks"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Hi Daniel - Thank you so much I am really pleased that this gave you a laugh. Thank you for taking the time to comment - Diane"
1 year ago
Angela Doran said "Loved it Diane. It had me giggling at the end but was also touching and powerful. Thank you"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Thank you so much Angela I am so happy that this seems to have worked exactly as I had hoped. - Cheers - Diane"
1 year ago
Fran Strahan said "LOL! Thank you. Reading some of the comments; Never mind the webs, its those huge black harvest spiders... giving me shudders just typing it. I killed one with a hammer once. Thanks again for this funny tale."
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "I don't mind spiders so much nowadays but when I was younger and had to use the facilities such as they were in those days I was terribly afraid of them and in a dither all the time expecting one to land on me. Poor little things I'm sure they meant me no harm. Anyway I'm so pleased that this had given you a laugh - Diane"
1 year ago
Suzanne Mays Guest Editor said "Such a wonderful good laugh this morning. I can just see them. Thanks."
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "I so glad my little Derby and Joan gave you a laugh. Thanks for reading and commenting I really do appreciate it - Diane"
1 year ago
James McEwan said "Being stubborn and independent starts in earnest at age two, wanes for a while and then reappears in old age..so they say. I enjoyed this illustration of how they fuss over not making a fuss. However I am not sure I get this line: 'Well, she was getting her comeuppance now wasn’t she?' Was this Nellie's thoughts or was the reader being addressed?. The tarpaper, evoked memories, sticking flies, wooden seat, the long drop, newspaper torn into squares- Ah those days... James"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "Hi there, thanks for reading and commenting. Yes the comeuppance line was internal dialogue and it seems that the italics didn't translate. Dash I missed that - not to worry. Oh yes, newspaper in squares, hung on a piece of string round the pipe, and a little spirit lamp burning under the cistern in the winter to stop it freezing. The thing that used to get me though was the spiders webs. - thanks again"
1 year ago
Adam West Guest Editor said "LOL - ROFL and stuff - and it was getting to me too - life partners - love and soul mates and all that jazz - Diane you are incorrigible - many thanks, Adam."
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor replied saying "tee hee - I have to admit that the end came to me before the beginning and as I wrote it took its own little route. Glad it gave you a giggle"
1 year ago

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