Short Story: Monologue: Guardian Angel

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About this Short Story

Written by
Nadine Bolt


Monologue as a six year old girl who is talking to her dad about her every day life. A child full of hope, and love, trying her best to show it to her father.


  • 750 Words
  • 9 Comments
  • 81% Community Rating
  • 1238 Views

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Hewo Daddy. I’m six today Daddy. Mummy says I’m a big girl now, do you fink so Daddy? Today me and my friends went to the swimmin’ pool for my birfday party. We had some fishy fingers and chips, and Mummy said it was a treat, an’ not to be always expecting it cus she gave it to me cus it was my birfday, an’ I still haf to eat up all my vegytables, but you know I don’t like vegytables, you know I don’t ever eat my sprouts. Yesterday I gave mine to the doggy when Mummy wasn’t looking! Hehehe! But please don’t tell her, or she will shout at me, and I don’t like it when she shouts. You never shouted, did you Daddy? I wenenber when you told Mummy to stop shouting at me hahaha! But anyways, we went to the park that you always taked me to when I was younger today, and I went on…

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Xander Cooper said "Hi Nadine, I found this very interesting to read, and as Susan said is a very sweet piece of writing, and shows that you've really tried to get into the mind of a little girl. I'd be interested to know the intended accent of the little girl as perhaps this would have an impact on how the reader gets on with the mis-spellings! I second Susan's reading recommendation which uses childlike language to great effect but in a much more subtle way. The similarities and contrasts between the two pieces are interesting. It would also be interesting to see the father's heavenly reply to this. Or perhaps the mother's response?"
4 years ago
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Susan Donim replied saying "I almost didn't respond to this as I know how much you enjoy an argument. And I'm not going to get into a fight over this. That said I don't appreciate your patronising tone, John. I also don't think the validity of my comments should be called into question because I'm not a writer. I never realised that stories were just written for other authors..."
4 years ago
Susan Donim said "Sweeter than apple pie! I actually found this a bit of a challenge to read, due to the use of baby speak. I thought overall it was a very sweet story but I could have perhaps done without the over-sentimentality, and the story never really rang true for me, perhaps because of the cutesy language. A similar story on Shortbread is The Oak Door which looks at similar themes and always leaves me weeping buckets! It's worth a read."
4 years ago
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Nadine Bolt said "Thank you very much! I'll have a look for it, but thank you for taking time to read my work."
4 years ago
Nadine Bolt said "Thank you very much! I'll have a look for it, but thank you for taking time to read my work."
4 years ago
This comment has been removed; this user is no longer a member of Shortbread.

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