Short Story: Mistaken Return

ShortbreadMelford MaderazoShort Stories › Mistaken Return

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About this Short Story


Daniel met a mysterious man. A week later, his school discovered a buried skeleton in its premise.


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  • 6 Comments
  • 97% Community Rating
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It was astounding… but… disturbing.

At the end of the school day, I loitered outside the school gates, leaning my back against the side wall. I looked at my watch and realised that five minutes had passed already. Somewhat irritated, I continued to wait for Leonie when Mr. Diaz, the bald yet bushily moustached principal, emerged through the gates and approached me.

“Oh, Daniel, I’m glad someone’s still here.” He had a brown folder clamped under his armpit. “You’re waiting for someone?” He raised his gray eyebrows.

“Yes, Sir.” I dropped my right foot to the ground and stood straight.

“Can I ask you a quick favor?” He looked at me with his friendly grin. I nodded avidly. His right hand snatched the folder and shoved it at me.

This is the principal, I thought to myself. He can help me if I flunk any of my subjects.

“I would like you to give this to Mr. Nasino. If he is not there in his office,…

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Melford Maderazo said "Thank you very much, Adam!"
8 months ago
Adam West said "Another finely told story Melford - reminiscent of a late-fifties PK Dick novella whose name escapes me. There is always a nice pace to your writing - a good mixture and balance of narrative and dialogue. Sometimes I like to read exchanges without too much stage business (sometimes of course stage business is necessary) so best I think to mix it up a little - that is only my opinion though...many thanks, Adam"
8 months ago
Jay Leffew said "I would never have known English wasn't your first language on reading the start of this story, and the mistakes you made in the last quarter of the story were the sort a careless bit of editing would create, rather than someone not knowing the language. Other than that, this was an excellent tale, and entirely believable in its chronology. Nice bit of sci. fi., thanks."
8 months ago
Melford Maderazo replied saying "Thanks Jay! I appreciate it."
8 months ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor said "I found this a bit of a see saw, at first I was really intrigued as to who this stranger was, then I thought oh well that's a bit obvious and then you swung it back again with a twist at the end. I know that English is not your first language and this does at times mean some of your vocabulary choices are unusual but so often with your stories this seems to enhance them somehow. I enjoyed this - Diane"
8 months ago
Melford Maderazo replied saying "Thanks Diane!"
8 months ago

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