Short Story: Jane's Confession

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Written by
Desmond Kelly

Jane holds a secret, the revelation of which causes her boyfriend to re-evaluate their relationship.

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Jane was one of those shut down people who kept her thoughts to herself, rarely giving expression to the emotions. She’d grown up in a large rambling house, raised by a mother who displayed little affection. Her father was largely absent, working abroad, and she had been sent to boarding school at an early age.

Jane was difficult to open up; rather clam like during our initial period together. I suppose I might have over compensated, trying to get her to tell me about her background. But it proved a struggle, and when she did it proved a turning point in our relationship.

I think one of the first revelation’s occurred when we were talking openly about what we both wanted. She’d been crying earlier because I’d snapped during a brief argument, but even after I’d apologised went on crying and it took longer than usual to calm her. I gave her a…

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June Griffin said "I have no idea how this should conclude. But I think another neurotic like Woody Allen could make a movie with these two characters and give it the ending it needs. Best, June"
2 years ago
Desmond Kelly replied saying "Hi June, thanks for commenting. I'm pretty sure it was all in the young man's head, and as insecurities go - inconsequential. Cheers Des"
2 years ago
James McEwan Guest Editor said "Hi Desmond, I read this twice and concluded that it was the boyfriend who may have had the problem of insecurity in the relationship. I also couldn't put my finger on what Jane's issue really was. It all seemed so superficial and unspecific. OK she caught her mother with the gardener (who has gardeners these days), and she had a sexual adventure as a young girl at school - there was not any deep psychological damaged being illustrated. I also found that by starting with a summary it created an inconsistency in the flow of the story. For instance we are told Jane went to boarding school at an early age (unspecific) and later she is sent home from the village school. (unlikely as a school would not send home pupils without informing the parents or else safety of the pupils first). Perhaps, this order of information needs a review. The father was largely absent (mostly absent) again unspecific and unless we know how Jane felt about this there is no value added. Merely to justify the mother's affair with the gardener. """"Her mother was slightly strange and quite wayward in her behaviour, which meant Jane received very little affection."" I thought this could have been opened up more to explain Jane's reactions and feelings. Later we are led to believe that going to boarding school and breaking with mother was difficult! In what way was the mother 'slightly strange' I can't find any evidence in your story. Now considering that the boyfriend and Jane meet at university and are now living together, surely any sexual difficulty or issues would have been resolved by now. Jane also has a job and appears fairly normal. the so called confession is rather weak and his reaction is left up in the air. Now if she had said she was leaving him for her lesbian sweetheart from boarding school, then we have a conflict worth reading about. I found him a bit weird seeking out a damsel distress, again unspecific. What was the emotional distress that Jane displayed that attracted him? The whole premise for this story seems to be hidden between the lines and presently, to me, unfathomable. Forgive me Desmond for making a critical comment, you know I mean well. Best regards, James."
2 years ago
Desmond Kelly replied saying "Hi James, thanks for the thorough analysis. The story does not contain the depth it deserves, because space on this site is limited. So, no in depth story about mother/daughter stuff. Enough to say the daughter both loved & hated her mother in equal measure, and maybe had stronger feelings for a father who was largely absent. The timing of the story suits my own background - kids were sent home from village schools (before H&S was around) without benefit of parents. The girl in this story may have gone to boarding school when she was ten & before that to the local school. The fact that the two had been together for a while does not mean they still don't have secrets, or that there is a part of their life they may never reveal. I said at the outset Jane was shut down. Finally, yes, the boyfriend betrays his own insecurity. as do we all at times. Knowing something extra about a person doesn't always make us stronger, or allow the relationship to grow. Possibly these two are on a rocky road for a while. Who can say? Anyway, James, this is not a parable for the times we are living through, simply a glimpse into the lives of two people who are yet to see one another for what they are. I hope this helps. Des"
2 years ago

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