Short Story: Jacob And The Google

Short Story: Jacob And The Google

This morning when I awoke from my sleep and started on my long walk to school, I was almost overflowing with excitement. So excited, that I felt like running the whole distance. Let me explain. Today my school would be connected to the world wide web. Can you believe it? The world wide web in my school! We already had a playground with a roundabout that pumped fresh water from a borehole, we had a new toilet block and now we were going to be connected to the world wide web.

Our headmaster Mr Owusu, had faithfully promised that all the students would be given the opportunity to carry out a Google search. Now I had never seen a Google before and friend, I don't mind telling you that I was slightly scared. Not as scared as I am when I sit on the toilet, and a large black beetle scuttles under the door and looks at me, and then invites all his beetle friends to join him until there is a full scale beetle party going on around my feet and I want to scream. Not as scared as that, but somewhat nervous nevertheless.

Because I have a long walk to school I am never the first to arrive. Accordingly, when I entered the classroom there was a large crowd of eager students pressing together in a tight boisterous huddle around Mr Owusu's desk. Mr Owusu was attempting to shoo them away by shouting things like, "Be careful, it's very valuable," and "If you don't sit down then no-one will be able to use it." Eventually he succeeded, the crowd cleared, and I was able to see it.

It stood high on Mr Owusu's desk, magnificent in beautiful smooth black metal which shone like oil on water. There seemed to be three parts to the device, and Mr Owusu took enormous pride in demonstrating each one. The largest part was a black box which had many wires coming from the back of it. That was called the 'base unit' and must only ever be turned on or off by Mr Owusu himself and no-one else. There was a television screen although Mr Owusu called it a 'monitor', which was what you should look at when you are searching for Googles. Lastly Mr Owusu held up a keyboard, which was very much like a typewriter with a wire coming out of it. The wire was attached to a mouse. This was quite confusing. I know what a mouse looks like and this one did not have small eyes and whiskers but had buttons on it instead. In fact it wasn't actually a mouse at all, but Mr Owusu seemed quite certain and as he was in his determined mood, I said nothing.

This was all very interesting, but what I really wanted was to see the computer in action. Mr Owusu pressed a button on the monitor and the screen began to change colour. Magically the black dissolved before our very eyes and was replaced by a white screen with the word Google written in many different bright colours. The whole classroom gasped in awe. He then called for a volunteer. "Who would like try this wonderful machine?" he asked. Every arm in the room was propelled high into the air, as if the higher the arm, the greater the chance that its' owner would be chosen.

Mr Owusu then teased the class. "I'm not sure," he observed with smiling eyes, "That any of you seem interested in this. Shall we turn this off and have a look at our Mathematics textbooks?" The classroom immediately erupted into a frenzied cacophony of keen bodies each thrusting itself forward. "Okay, okay," Mr Owusu waved for silence. "The computer it is then. Who shall I choose to be first?"

I prayed. As I thrust my arm high into the air, as I focussed my entire attention on Mr Owusu, I prayed harder than I have ever prayed in my life. And it worked! He chose me! "Jacob," he beamed, "Would you like to come and sit down at the computer?" My trembling legs were barely strong enough to carry me the short distance I was so nervous. Nervous, but excited.

"What would like to look at?" Mr Owusu asked. I didn't know what to answer.

"What do you mean?" I said.

"Jacob, this computer is connected to the world wide web. The world wide web can help solve all your problems. You must be curious about something."

"Well yes," I answered, "I am curious about beetles in the toilet." My school friends found this hysterically funny and burst into laughter. Mr Owusu knew what I was talking about.

"Beetles in the toilet eh? Do they still worry you, Jacob?"

"Yes."

"Well, why don't you type that into the computer and see what the world wide web can tell you?"

So I did. I typed 'Beetles in toilet' as Mr Owusu had told me, and clicked on 'Google Search'. I had not realised just how swift the world wide web is. It took 0.18 seconds to find 3,860,000 results. Now that my friends, is very speedy!

The first story was very interesting indeed. It was about a beetle in England named John Lennon, who had his own toilet. I wished that the beetles in my school had their own toilet and left me alone to mine. This beetle had apparently not needed his toilet, as he had given it to a man who in turn, had taken it to a convention of beetles. Mr Owusu said that a convention is like a big meeting. I always thought that England must be very clean, after all the Queen looks very spick and span in her photographs, but apparently England too has a problem with crawling insects.

It would appear that this toilet, was bought at the convention for £9,500! I was amazed! I know England is a very rich country, but if a meeting of beetles can buy a toilet for £9,500 it must be very rich indeed. I suggested to Mr Owusu that, in order to raise money for the gymnasium building, we should sell one of our six toilets to English beetles. After all, five toilets is more than enough for one school. Mr Owusu said that it was a different kind of beetle, a singing one in fact, and that we would have to think of other ways of raising the money.

It was time for someone else to go on the computer. As I returned to my desk I considered the situation. The next time I go to the toilet, and a large black beetle scuttles under the door, and then all his beetle friends come to join him and party around my swinging feet, I shall consider myself grateful. For if I were in England I believe that the beetles would buy the toilet from underneath me and then sing about their success. For that knowledge, I thank the world wide web.