Short Story: Elephant

ShortbreadNatashja SingletonShort Stories › Elephant

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About this Short Story


Within the mind of a Elephant you will find the passion for freedom.


  • 182 Words
  • 4 Comments
  • 65% Community Rating
  • 60 Views

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Dust hanging in the air around my legs, I looked down at the sand below

The breeze flapping through my ears the whistling sounds of long ago

My mind wanders back to the time of my ancestor herd and breed

Everything was covered in ice, the wind dancing in the air with need

Snapped back to reality with human's voices echoing through the air

As they are gathered around my cage thinking my habitat here is fair

Smoke hanging in the air, plastic bands and garbage everywhere to be seen

Longing for my ancient memories wild and free, meadows and fields ever so green

Sharing a small piece of ground with a few more of my kind

Thankful I should be, alone and loneliness I could have find

Long ago we lived together families, clans, and subpopulations

Forever under our eldest leader lead and lived with our close relations

Footsteps on the ground knowing your feeding time is not far behind

From this living I cannot hide, fear and pride is all in…

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Jay Leffew said "Adam has drawn my attention back to this and it makes me think perhaps I should actually be more helpful, and 'underline' the spots I felt needed 'honing'. It's either, '...humans' voices...', or '...human voices...'. You could drop the 'have' from '...I could have find...' and a semicolon would help '...long ago we lived together; families, ...'. Finally the '...leader led and lived...'. . . . . This had a sense of wildness, but seemed to note the intelligence of a creature who knew when it had a worthwhile place to be. I must've been in a hurry when I wrote my other comment, be cause I should've said then that I enjoyed the poem, not just 'liked the sentiment'. Sometimes I'm too busy nit-picking to remember the whole glorious head of hair..."
3 months ago
Natashja Singleton replied saying "Hi Jay, Thank you for you tips and guidelines, I'm thankful for you taking the time :)"
3 months ago
Adam West said "I love animal POV in writing - a great challenge to capture the nature and spirit - enjoyable piece - many thanks, Adam."
3 months ago
Jay Leffew said "I liked the sentiment, but the actual poetry needed a little honing; - in particular how you led up to the 'find' bit of rhyme, and other spots looked a little contrived. . . . . Poems often flow quite naturally for me, but every now and then I have to really work hard on them, and I won't let them go until I'm satisfied with them, which means some never get to be seen or heard by anyone else."
3 months ago

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