Short Story: Death's Night

ShortbreadTom HitchenShort Stories › Death's Night

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She tries not to shiver or scream or shout but her body lets her down the tiniest amount. A sharp laugh drops leaden from his face and clatters around the cavernous, claustrophobic space. Everywhere to run, nowhere to hide.

The knife in his hand drips with her friends' blood, the ones in his mouth would too, if they could. The yards in between them inches to her eyes, her half torn clothes a shop window to his, revealing his prize. A million choices, no way to decide.

“Whatever you do, my love,” he had cried, “don’t show him any fear, keep your pride.”

“Please don’t leave me,” she had barely replied, before covered in sweat, blood and tears, in her arms he died. She lifts her gaze, embracing fate.

Maniacal eyes stare upwards through thick lashes as he stabs her repeatedly, while from the ashes of an ill-timed murder a once dead man stands to rescue his love from this mad man’s hands. She…

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Adam West said "Loved the Gothic feel to this - very passionate, vivid - you got style, Tom, Bravo! and many thanks Adam"
7 months ago
Tom Hitchen replied saying "Thank you Adam :-)"
7 months ago
Jay Leffew said "Happens nearly every time, no matter how careful you think you've been, but as Diane said, it's not that bad, and the only one, which is quite a feat in itself. I've read through a small book I'm trying to put together at least three times now, and I'm still finding typos... sigh... Hard to follow your actual writing style here, but I got the plot none-the-less, and the chill of the warning; thanks."
7 months ago
Tom Hitchen replied saying "With the theme of the 500 being Halloween, I went for a kind of folk-tale style of writing, with the rhyme structure and the warning message. I think I needed more words to pull this off effectively. I hope I have done a better job of this in the story I am currently waiting to have published. As for typos, most of the time we all know what it was meant to say and it only takes a brief double take in order to correct it in your head."
7 months ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor said "Lyrical and very clever and ever so scary actually - well done (don't worry about the typo too much I bet nine out of ten readers will read it the way you meant it) It would be great to have a correct button but then I suppose it would skew the editing process too much."
7 months ago
Tom Hitchen replied saying "Thanks Diane. Might have to start proof reading properly, too much like effort though :-P"
7 months ago
Tom Hitchen said "Why is it the case that you only notice typos once it's too late to correct them? "no use for a man or morals and honour" should, of course, read "no use for a man OF morals and honour" My bad."
7 months ago

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