Short Story: Dawn Walker

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About this Short Story

Written by
Suzanne Mays


"Old soldiers never die."


  • 405 Words
  • 17 Comments
  • 95% Community Rating
  • 2143 Views

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Competitions & Prizes

Formula 500: Myths and Legends

Competition Entry (Closed)

This piece has not been edited by the ShortbreadStories team.

They said Dawn Walker walked through the woods carrying his ancient rifle. They said he strode with purpose toward the old battlefield dressed in his deerskins. They said when the first light cracked through the trees you’d catch a glimpse of him fine and free.

There’re many such myths when you live on the edge of a battlefield where there’s been ferocious fighting. Even though the fighting was centuries ago, there was such an outcry for freedom there, people still felt vibrations. They heard cannons, saw lights, and they often saw Dawn Walker stride across the road and disappear into the forest.

One day while walking through the woods, a whirlwind of leaves swirled at me. It appeared there suddenly in the sun and I had felt - something. But I doubted Dawn Walker because there were all sorts of hunters in those woods with too much whiskey.

Then I went on the…

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Marc Elles said "I liked this for its richness of language and ability to capture and exploit the readers inate curiosity in paranormal happenings, especially when stirring dawns are involved! Thanks, M."
1 month ago
Suzanne Mays Guest Editor replied saying "Thank you, Marc. There is something about the dawn when anything can happen. Suzanne"
1 month ago
Jessica Cashin said "very mysterious and caught my attention right from the start, awesome story!"
1 month ago
Suzanne Mays Guest Editor replied saying "Thank you, Jessica. I live near an old battlefield and have often felt soldiers crossed my yard on their way to battle many years ago. This story came out of that. All the best, Suzanne"
1 month ago
Christopher James Rushton said "myth and legend. you have created a new one."
2 months ago
Christopher James Rushton replied saying "your story left me thinking about, maybe a fighter of evil or local crime. maybe a colection of stories based on the myth. please check out my short stories. A Lovely Girl, The Case Of The Chequered Flighty, Big Rain, The Truth, Me Myself And I, The rushtons Adventures, Thirty Minutes, Voices, ect. thanks,CJ."
2 months ago
Suzanne Mays Guest Editor replied saying "Thanks, Chris. I live near an old battlefield. Usually my stories come in pieces but when Shortbread had the myth competition this story came all at once. Glad you liked it, Suzanne"
2 months ago
Anna Ryan Thomas said "This is a great story as it makes me feel like I am actually there, it is mysterious in a non scary way. Would have gotten my vote but already voted twice! Great myth."
1 year ago
Suzanne Mays Guest Editor replied saying "I'm glad you liked it, Anne. This contest has been fun and so many stories. Until next time, Suzanne"
1 year ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor said "This put me in mind of the Roman soldiers who walk through York and are seen as half men because they are walking on the old road which is lower than the current one. Super to read about a different sort of legend, and I too love a Spirit tale. = Thanks - Diane"
1 year ago
Suzanne Mays Guest Editor replied saying "Thank you, Diane. I'm going to look up about the half men, this sounds interesting. Suzanne"
1 year ago
Jay Leffew said "Comfortable fable, which left me with a warm feeling. I know it's a lost cause about starting sentences with conjunctions, so I'm going to try rationalising it by imagining something unsaid was said just prior to that sentence, or you simply mistook the full stop for a comma, and accidentally hit the capital 'B'..."
1 year ago
Suzanne Mays Guest Editor replied saying "Thank you, Jay, Rereading this I see I could rearrange slightly to omit the "But" beginnings. Agree it's a lost cause I won't ever do this, but certainly could have decreased here. it's the want for that natural sound in my head which usually is the conjunction. Will work on this as i do see the conjunction, too, can be jarring and the whole aim is that easy flow."
1 year ago
Fran Strahan said "Excellent ghost story. Not scary, or creepy, just a guy still going about his business not believing hes dead. Which is what they reckon ghosts are. Thank you."
1 year ago
Suzanne Mays Guest Editor replied saying "Thanks, Fran. I live near an old battlefield and there are all sorts of legends. Like the "not scary" ones also. Suzanne"
1 year ago
Adam West Guest Editor said "Rarely, if ever is there a misstep in your writing, Suzanne. Sure footed fare again - love ghost stories - loved this - many thanks and good luck, Adam."
1 year ago
Suzanne Mays Guest Editor replied saying "Thanks, Adam. I'm glad you liked it. i do live near an old battledfield, and have often imagined this guy heading through my yard to the battle. He never stops to mow the grass."
1 year ago

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