Short Story: Crack

ShortbreadBill Haddow-allenShort Stories › Crack

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...Max had always been confident, optimistic, on a continuous burn of achievement, but this frightened him...


  • 487 Words
  • 6 Comments
  • 79% Community Rating
  • 143 Views

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Max glimpsed his own reflection in a shop window. He felt in his raincoat pocket for his train ticket.

Hey! That guy in the window wasn‘t wearing a raincoat! And, his reflection had a flower on his lapel.

Max checked his own lapel to confirm what he already knew - he wasn’t wearing one. He looked back along the street. It was deserted.

The face of his doppelganger stared into his through the window of the train as it moved away from the platform. Max had always been confident, optimistic, on a continuous burn of achievement, but this frightened him.

When Max left the station at his destination Doppelganger was across the road looking directly at him with a superior, detached stare. He saw his double a number of times over the next few days; in the supermarket - on the golf course - across the street - and each time close enough for Max to see that look, that questioning gaze.

Getting on a…

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Adam West said "Doppelganger stories done well are are indeed chilling. Bravo Bill for making the ranks. Pared to the bone writing felt apposite here - the 'unsatisfactory I'm not telling you why or what ending' was actually in keeping, I thought, but would not satisfy everyone, I realise...many thanks, Adam"
8 months ago
Bill Haddow-allen replied saying "Thank you, Adam. Glad you got it and liked it. Such comments keep me trying. Thanks."
8 months ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor said "Quite chilling I thought and I actually found the ending just slightly up in the air (oh my goodness pun alert) but nonetheless a good story, spooky and well written. - Diane"
8 months ago
Bill Haddow-allen replied saying "Thanks, Diane. Glad you liked it. I think it's cool that you founf it chilling."
8 months ago
Jay Leffew said "Yup! It could only end up one way really, couldn't it... I think I'd've confronted him if I'd been him, but then I'm an aggressive little tyke; - I'd've been friendly to begin with though; you have to give the other guy a chance to explain, don't you..."
8 months ago
Bill Haddow-allen replied saying "Thank you for commenting, Jay."
8 months ago

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