Short Story: Boy In The Shadows

ShortbreadMaureen BranniganShort Stories › Boy In The Shadows

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My hair’s plastered to my head and my teeth are beginning to chatter. As well as the rain, it’s really foggy now. I’ve been watching this boy across the road - he just ducked back into the shadows when he caught me watching him.

My friend Ginny’s actually leaning against the chippie, completely oblivious to all this wetness, eating a fish supper.

I nudged her. “That lad’s been looking at us for ages now.”

“Don‘t be soft, Eileen. He‘s probably waiting for someone. “She said, and carried on eating her soggy chips.

I wiped my face with a damp hankie, thinking that Ginny has no imagination.

I sneaked another look at the boy who was now standing in the doorway of the library. Between the dark, the fog, and the drizzle it was getting harder to get a good look at him. A car passed and he got caught in headlights. I could have sworn he looked like a miner, which is crazy because the…

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Maureen Brannigan replied saying "Thanks, Jay. Got the idea for this one from a writer friend whose relative found wee body of a sweep in chimney in Govan in Scotland. Maureen"
6 years ago
Desmond Kelly said "Spooky. Great writing throughout, and you held the sense of suspense nicely. I particularly enjoyed the description of hanging round in the rain waiting for the bus while eating chips - it brought memories from the past for me. Des"
6 years ago
Heidi-jo Swain said "I really enjoyed this Maureen - the descriptions of the weather and the effect it had on the whole story added atmosphere as well as shivers. I agree with Diane's comment about the last paragraph but it was still a great read. Thank you."
6 years ago
Andy Bottomley Guest Editor said "Nice one..... I liked the way one thing led to another, with a sense of reality and atmosphere which I think is the key to writing 'believable' ghost and fantasy stories. So as i said, nice one and thanks for sharing.....Andy"
6 years ago
Patsy R Liles said "Shades of Edgar Allen Poe and The Cask of Amantilado! So well done Maureen. A very good job with brevity. I truly enjoyed it. Patsy R Liles"
6 years ago
Diane Dickson Guest Editor said "This was super, it was mysterious and even though one had an idea from quite early on what was going on the ending was a nice twist. I felt that you didn't actually need the last paragraph and the work would be stronger simply finishing with mother's announcement - still a good read - thanks for this - Diane"
6 years ago

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