Short Story: Al

ShortbreadJacqueline KirkShort Stories › Al

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About this Short Story

Written by
Jacqueline Kirk

Narrated by
Helen McAlpine


A young woman coming to terms with life.


  • 812 Words
  • 14 Comments
  • 79% Community Rating
  • 5067 Views

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In the beginning my parents didn't mind Al. I'd only just started seeing him and even then, because of work, it was only at weekends. It was nothing too serious. In fact, everyone loved him. He was a great partner, especially at the dreaded family meals, you know, like birthdays, anniversaries and Sunday lunch. He always made everyone feel comfortable and was always very welcome. However as time went on, my parents began to complain about his constant presence. He made things too boisterous and unpredictable.

It was actually amazing how much friction Al caused. Of course I was caught in the middle most times. Defending him became tiring. It became easier to not go to the aforementioned events. Al and I would stay at home and watch DVDs or listen to music whilst smoking numerous cigarettes. It got difficult. People would constantly phone or buzz my flat or text me, wondering if I was okay and where I was. It…

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Sandy Wardrope said "HI Jacqueline, I just found this very profound tale of yours, a tale about something that can affect us all, something that is insidious and let's face it fatal. You told the story with a great voice and created a powerful character as well. I thought it very well written, you used some tight powerful sentences and allowed the moral of the story to hang there. Would she? Will she? you let the reader to finish it on their own, well done. Thanks for a great little read, yours Sandy W."
2 years ago
Jacqueline Kirk replied saying "Hi Sandy, many thanks for your feedback. I haven't been on this site in quite some time and just by chance logged on to see if I was still a member! I haven't written anything in a while but thanks to your comments maybe I will give it a go again! Hope you're enjoying this site as much as I did! Kind regards, Jacqui K."
2 years ago
Angel Duran said "Could someone please confirm which accent is that? Is it Scottish? If you tell me which city it's from, I'd be grateful."
2 years ago
Jacqueline Kirk replied saying "hello again, yep the woman reading my story is definitely Scottish - poss Edinburgh but with a hint of Glasgow. Am really not sure! Thought she had a hint of Aberdeen/Dundee in there! Either way, SCOTTISH! Haha ;-)"
2 years ago
Jacqueline Kirk replied saying "Hi Angel, apologies but I haven't been on this site in quite a while and by chance just logged on to see if I was still a member! Yes, the accent is Scottish. At least I am Scottish, from Edinburgh or are you referring to the audio? I will listen again and see if I recognise it! Hope you're enjoying this site! Kind regards, Jacqui K."
2 years ago
Barry O'Leary said "This is a very cleverly written piece and reflects a lot of feelings and emotions. I got it first time but had to go back and listen to it again."
7 years ago
Steve Oliver said "Enjoyable- fine writing with superb narration…"
7 years ago
Rosie Lee said "I really enjoyed reading this, and the journey from beginning to end was very insightful- a brilliantly written and composed story."
8 years ago
Mark Patrick said "Easter with Al - I enjoy short stories that leave out either the who or what or when or where, to force the reader to use their imagination and make guesses along the way. You did a great job with this aspect. My idea of who/what Al is changed every couple of paragraphs. And when I finished the story and understood, I had to read it again. Thanks for sharing and please keep on writing. "
8 years ago
Jacqueline Kirk said "Am so happy! - Hey to Susan and Jonathan! Listen, your comments meant a lot! I'm not the world's greatest writer but I think I'm good! And getting positive feedback from people like yourselves is a fantastic boost! Thank You! XX"
8 years ago
Susan Donim said "cryptic - Sorry Jonathan, I thought I'd been cryptic enough with my comments but apparently not! If you need a guide it is simple read, this story. It is well written and thought provoking. And sorry Jacqueline if I was a spoiler! I was just excited to 'get' it! :) sue "
8 years ago
Jonathan Morse said "Spoiler alert!!! - Susan Donim's comment spoils the fun of reading 'Al' - thing is I use comments to guide me as to whether I read something."
8 years ago
Jacqueline Kirk said "SUSAN DONIM - Susan, I clicked the wrong button!! Thank you for your very positive words! I am so sorry! I tried looking for you on this site but cant find you! I hope you read this and accept my apologies! Thank you again for your comments - they meant a lot! Jacqueline x"
8 years ago
Susan Donim said "Very Clever - I really enjoyed this piece. I was drawn in first of all by the strange relationship between the narrator and Al. And I quickly became to realise the underlying meaning through out this story which made it even more enjoyable for me! You should send this to the Healthboard, would make an excellent anti drinking advert! "
8 years ago

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